I constantly smell smoke when no one is smoking

Of all the stupid problems someone could have, this is the one I get stuck with.

For the past few weeks, I have been smelling cigarette smoke regardless of where I am, or what time of day it is. To add to the problem, my eyes sting as if I were sitting in a dark corner bar filled with smokers while drowning my sorrows in a tall Jack and Beer chaser, only without the ambiance.
This sucks, because I used to smoke.
I quit because, among other things, It stunk. NOW I can't get away from it.
And I have to suffer without the benefit of the smooth, relaxing calm that comes from a long draw on a short red. Nope...just the stink, like an old ashtray left is the rain.
Like my car USED to smell like.

Here's the kicker, when I say constant...I mean constant. Usually, a person gets accustomed to a particular smell, given prolonged exposure to it. But this is maddening.
It's ever present, like Chinese water torture, it won't go away.
So, after I decided I was going nuts, I Googled the problem on the off chance one other person had the same stupid problem.

Boy...I am not alone.
Go ahead, Google "smell smoke when no one is smoking..." and read up on the matter.

Seems like there's a lot of me...plenty of symptoms...no cures. No advice.
Woo hoo.

Something about Mary

Every proud father brags, I'm no exception. But after three kids, a lot of things that once seemed ultra important and all consuming seem to fall by the wayside ever so much.
When Luke was born, I videotaped or photographed every second of his life, it seemed.
The same with Bridget, since she was daddies little girl. Then came Mary.
Poor Mary, I feel like she's getting Jipped. Of course, much of my time has been spent pounding together Luke's new 'Greg Brady' bachelor pad and basement bathroom, not to mention my full time job as Captain Everything.
Something tells me that once I'm done milking this project as an excuse to buy more tools, I'll be back to playing jr. paparazzi.
In the meantime, Here's Mary Catherine.

Mary "Buzz" Catherine